I'm sitting here after offering my prayers, and I asked God all the things I usually ask for: guide us on right path, forgive us, make our passed ones rest in peace and on and on. I ask nth specific. Whenever I think why don't I do that? The answer comes that perhaps you don't believe you'd get it. And it's true. I've been disappointed so many times that even thinking for hoping for sth great to happen is a joke now. I live in this shitty mindset for quite a time now. And I think yes! This has become a part of me. These all are true and getting under my skin time and again... like every hour: I'm alone and I need someone for an intimate relation, I haven't secured admission and have given away all my hope for any this year and the fact that I don't wanna study as I've been away for two years now, and also the fact that no one wanna talk to me. You know everyone I talk to, is always started and dragged on by me every time. If I don't bother, they certainly don't. Suddenly, I belong to nowhere. I only belong my the fantasy team TNM, and this room that doesn't show any reluctance when I'm here... and I can sleep, read, masturbate, watch movies, cry... and whatever.
Huh. Signing out. Gotta pick my friend