Every night, into my cozy, warm, blanket, I feel my eyes dimming and hear a calling from a somewhat unpredictable dreamland, to let go, to not care, to put off the life's unsolved miseries and let the eyes slowly shut. Tired by the bed time, both physically and mentally, the mind gives little attention of the otherwise screaming issues that never seem to end. Moving through the day, I come across new things while doing the old things which diverts my thoughts from within my head's gloomy tunnel, to the broader brighter world. Finally night falls and after dinner, it's time I gather the day's bit and pieces and reflect. However stressful or awakened by a couple of new surprises, or things out of schedule, I just don't care as intensely as I do during the day; maybe I feel triumphant after passing yet another day of my lonesome, tensed, holed life.
The next morning, it's the extreme opposite. I wake and I'm instantly struck by the awareness of being where I am which feels like I've lost it already. Curled up in my bed, I feel small, troubled and weak against the life and its yet another offering. My thoughts move back and forth between the weird, dark, and pleasant yet melancholy dreams and the up-to-your-face, knocking down, reality. I spend most of the waking time remembering the dream, the sad scenes or the happy ones which make saddens me twice. And suddenly, hope is no where to find, and peace seems unreachable. I feel my stomach twitch out of uneasiness produced by the overwhelming amount of stress carried out by the neurons from the brain (the saddest organ in my body that time). It seems certainly impossible to carry that burden and carry the day too, and starting from my mind, my whole body freaks out and I shatter into pieces. No one notices; moreover, no one there to notice!