December 13, 2019
Disclaimer: the following content is depressive and saddening.
A week marked with seasonal
depression and emotional breakdown
1: Always at the edge
All it takes is one peak inside myself,
and I can clearly see the darkest truths about life, my past, and misfortune of
not only myself but of all humanity. I don’t know if everyone knows these
gloomy realities, but if they do and are still living so assumably happy and
care-free, then they are making their own courageous choices. When I see that I
am at the edge of being perfectly functional or sadly realistic, I feel more
inclined to choose the latter.
2: Don’t stretch it
For all those who are in a near-end
relationship, my advice is just end it. The longer you stretch it, the messier
and more frustrating it becomes. A quick, fatal, and final blow or breakup is
highly recommended rather than continuing at the peril of having to hate each
other.
3: Don’t always trust me
What I say might always be what I
know and trust, but my actions or my whole life isn’t always as organized,
wise, and growing as it may sound on paper. Always be good judges and never
love or hate someone or something too much. Everything in moderation, none in
extreme.
4: Doubts all over
What I have been keenly and
repeatedly thinking about for as long as 5BF has been running is the seminar
that I wish to give this January in Quetta (my hometown). I have collected what
I will share, I have rerun the images of the day, and I have lived the whole
experience in my head – but now that I am so close, I am beginning to doubt myself.
Will it even happen? But even if it does, do I really have something to help
them with?
5: Quote
“What I know at sixty, I knew as
well at twenty. Forty years of a long, a superfluous labor of verification.”
E.M Cioran
Extra: if anything useful for
this episode, I might only be able to recommend some movies I recently watched
1: Mother (Korean – 2009):
a mother’s tireless struggle to save his special son from a murder case
2: Booksmart (2019): a tale
of two bookishly intelligent girls as they leave high school. Fun and
lessonful.
3: Okja (2017): a girl’s
endless struggle to save her artificially made, but humanly raised big-pig from
the industry.
4: The Irishman (2019): a lengthy,
captivating, and masterful crime-drama (a contender for best picture)