In her book ‘Becoming Wise’, the renowned host of ‘On Being’ podcast, Krista Tippet, writes that, “You may disagree with my opinion, but you cannot disagree with my experiences.” What this piercing quote hints towards is a call for deeper and contextual understanding of the others when we interact with them. To judge is easy; it almost comes naturally to us. But to move past one’s initial impressions and reactions, and to look for the narrative behind the current behavior or state of that particular person, is exactly what’s needed for a better understanding of one and other.
As the title of this book suggests, this novel is about a man called Ove. We meet Ove at the beginning of the novel as he’s shopping for a laptop, and through his interactions with the salesman, we quickly know two things: one, that he is an old man; and two, that he is really grumpy and scolding. Then we read about Ove’s routines: how he wakes up exactly at one specific time every day, goes about his daily checking duty where he double checks if the doors of the garages are locked, and of course, if anyone hasn’t or isn’t violating the numerous restrictions he has placed on the neighborhood. Restrictions like: no sort of driving on the streets, no parking either, no walking your pet on the lawns, and so on and so forth.
Much like the other characters in Ove’s neighborhood, I too found myself fed up with such an extremely controlling and, as one character puts it, ‘obstructionist’ old man. But as Backman continues on with the story, and gives us flash backs of Ove’s earlier life leading up to the present, I softened up and began to feel myself sympathizing with the old man rather than being upset with him.
If we think about, everyone, good, bad, and even the worst of us, was once a baby. A vulnerable little person whom his/her mother really loved, who made other laugh or smile; then they grew up to be teenagers with their first loves and their dreams about the future. And although later on, the worst of us really side tracked and became the examples of how evil humans can be, their childhood always remains there, and therein a fact that they weren’t always like this and a hope that they can be changed.
Yet Ove is only eccentric, he isn’t bad at all. Growing up, his father teaches him everything about car engines and how to fix them. His mother dies early, later followed by his father. Alone in his twenties, he gets his father’s job at the railway. There Ove meets the girl who would loves him so dearly that it’s heartbreaking. Especially so when she dies of cancer, and leaves Ove, once again, alone, but now with an unbearable and unfillable big hole inside him.
Getting to know the Ove story, we cannot help but feel sympathy for him, but Ove’s neighbors, a family of four: father, Iranian mother, and their two daughters, showed kindness and put forward a hand from the first day. They opened Ove’s heart again with their saffron cooked rice, Iranian cookies, silly mistakes, hugs and smiles.
I couldn’t read past 50 pages of this
novel, so I had to turn to the movie based on this novel to finish this story. I
judged this novel too soon: its playful and YA-feeling layout, the fact that
it's only about a suicidal old man, and that nothing is really happening… but
watching the movie, I realized that a lot happens, and some of it really moves
you to the point of tears. Nevertheless, I now know Ove and his story, and that’s
all that matters.
Ratings: 3.5/5 *** February 28,
2022_